by Jonny Carroll

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This song came from that feeling you get when your life changes in an instant and you're suddenly waking up alone, living with the ghost of 'how things used to be' while attempting to move forward and rebuild despite feeling like you've lost your sense of self.


People keep talking
Say "it's for the best" but I'm a mess
And exhausted
I'll try to be honest about
My excuses
And the way it feels to realize
You've been losing
When you're too numb to let somebody else in

Yeah, I've been afraid of
The shapes and the shadows in my bedroom
The way the demons
In your head use the chemicals
Make you react how you're prone to
Programmed by the way somebody hurt you

But the hardest part of waking up alone
It's not that you've gone, just gone and left your ghost

They tell me I'm out of my mind
If you have a dream you have a plan to die
Well, I'm gonna dream every damn time

Still the hardest part of living since you left
There's not a whole lot here but the hole inside my chest

The hardest part?
Don't know where to start


released June 24, 2020
written by Jonny Carroll and Jefferson Rinck


all rights reserved



Jonny Carroll Indianapolis, Indiana

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